is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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