wat bout pragnant strippers??
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
