Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
