He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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