Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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