Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm both gender and math confused
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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