Joe is yelling at the trees again.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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