We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He did a backflip because drugs
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
