You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
