that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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