I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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