I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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