We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
