well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
operation harelip BJ is a go
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
