I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
