okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You made out with two different species that night
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
