Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
