put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
