This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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