Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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