if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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