I need help removing her.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
