Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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