I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
