It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
