Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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