glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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