Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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