Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
