its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
