these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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