: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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