just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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