You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
