My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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