Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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