My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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