I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
