Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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