Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
