I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
