I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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