Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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