fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
