My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
