There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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