Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
