epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
