I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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