It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
